• friend: *sees picture of favourite celebrity* oh, they're quite good-looking!
• me: do you think so
• me: do yoU EVEN KNOW WHO THEY ARE
• me: DO YOU KNOW WHEN THEIR BIRTHDAY IS
• me: DO YOU KNOW THEIR MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME
• me: HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE OF THEIR PERFECTION AND SCREAMED AT PICTURES OF THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE SO STUPIDLY BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY AND WONDERFUL AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT YOU DON'T CARE REALLY BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST PLEASED THEY'RE IN THE WORLD
• friend: what
• me: nothing i have a cough, yes they are good-looking aren't they

• Mom: GO TO YOUR ROOM
• Brother: that's not fair
• Mom: DO AS I SAY.
• Brother: You never send Lizzie to her room when she's in trouble!!
• Mom: Lizzie never leaves her room. If she were in trouble I'd make her sit in the living room or go outside or talk to human beings.
• Me: I CAN HEAR YOU.

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